Many times I have asked myself:
What is the meaning of this existence?
Many times I have received the answers
but only a few times have I understood the reasons.
You see…
Finding joy appears to be the pure expression
of a life well-worth living.
And invaluable happiness: the gift
that brings tranquility to the mind – oh so freely.
And freed is my mind but troubled is my heart
because while wondering thru this existence
I can also see the clutter
all the mess, the disarray, the contradictions.
Many times I have received the answers
but only a few have I understood the reasons.
Perhaps, the questioning is part of the cognition
because, you see, I have come with criticism.
Finding joy, then
appears to be the duality of the life that now I am living.
For my words can express the reasoning
and my sadness, the true feelings for the horrors that now I am seeing.
I have asked many questions
and I have rejected some of the answers
for this world is as pretty as cruel
and I can not be blind, I can not be mute
all I can do is rationalize the truth
and all the realities that can not be hidden under our shoes.
You see..
I can, as you can
believe that it is OK to inquire about our truthfulness
about our rights and wrongs
about you and me, about us, about it all.
I can not, and neither should you
swallow all that it is presented as pure
for we all know: contamination exists!
Yes, we know that with certitude!
I do not repent for having doubts
I do not pray for an easier way out
I do not regret believing that it is just fine
to analyze and use our minds.
I do believe we are capable to rationalize
to know what it is fair and right
to do what we must do
in order to provide balance to not just our own kind.
Yes, I do believe that we are the ones who decide which way to run.
And if that provides condemnation
Perhaps: treason of some kind
I have decided to live with that.
I will see then, I hope
when this life can not be accounted for more doubts
that I was all along in the inside with some insight
and not an outcast that wasted the truth with rationalism and such.
By Carolina Gonzalez (Carolina Portilla Garcés)
#carolinaswords ©
August 22nd, 2016 – Updated on April 3rd, 2017 and June 23rd, 2020
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