Maybe, Just Not Right Now

I just got really sad.

Every inch of me

is feeling left behind

like dust

like fog

like the air

that does not longer count.

But I know I am worthy

maybe not right now.

But I did matter

and I will matter again…

maybe just not right now.

But I did and I will.



I do matter…

but just not right now.

And that sadness

feeds my mind

with emptiness

with silence

with many words

that do not longer count


they can’t be heard

they won’t be heard

as I won’t say a word.

But I do feel sad

and my feelings

must remained inside

looked up behind that door

the one

that opens up for love

just when love comes

from those who don’t know

that I love them forever more.

I know I am worthy

I am worthy of their love

maybe not all the time

maybe just

from time to time


just not right now.

It seems and it feels like

they do love me

because they do come and go.

But I rather them to stay with me

behind the door

in that space

that is filled

with sorrowed thoughts

every time they leave

and leave me all alone.

I do feel sad right now

in this space

where I do belong

but they will knock again

and again I will be happy

maybe just content

but I’ll be worthy again

and I’ll be here again

because from time to time

sadness is all what’s left.

By Carolina Gonzalez (Carolina Portilla Garcés)

March 3rd, 2014

2:30 PM – Plano, Texas